Last Sunday was Mother’s Day and I celebrated for my second time as a mom. It was a wonderful day for me, starting off with roses in my son’s room when I got him out of his crib that morning, and ending with a massage and mani/pedi arranged by my husband (thanks, honey!). I thought about how nice it was that there is one day in the year when we celebrate the moms. It’s a bonus that restaurants don’t make you feel awkward for toting the kids in on Mother’s Day. Usually, it’s a bit of an ordeal. I live in a city that isn’t exactly kid-friendly in the dining-out-department.
Speaking of kid-friendly... Lets talk about kids at weddings! It’s a sensitive issue and Mother’s Day capped off a week of wedding work that actually included not one, but several, discussions with brides about kids…or rather, NO kids, at their weddings. I also received an invitation to a wedding in June and had to call to find out if kids were “invited” since the invite didn’t mention it one way or another. So I’ve been on both sides of the issue, so to speak. Here’s the thing: like “fancy” restaurants, small kids just aren’t welcome at some weddings. It’s harsh sounding, but true. I find that dealing with how to make this clear to guests is a challenge for my clients. Here is some of my advice:
1. If the guests with kids are your friends or close family, call them yourself after the invitations are sent and tell them that it’s an adults-only party. If you can help with babysitting arrangements or suggestions, that’s awesome. Some guests bring their kids with them and then leave them with a sitter in the hotel.
2. Have your mom and mother-in-law do the dirty work and call their family members with kids for you! They’re probably good at that stuff, right?
3. Include something in the invitation or on your wedding website that says “Please note that this a wedding for adults only”
4. If you don’t mind kids there, but want to wrangle them a little after dinner, hire a babysitting service to set up camp at the reception site.
In my experience, it feels like a big deal, and some people do get a little peeved, but it is best to get all the explaining and arranging done as far ahead of time as possible. Remember that this is your wedding and it should be the kind of party that you want. If you want to throw a kid-friendly, family oriented party, accommodate people and have fun! If you want a black-tie affair with an ice sculpture bar and passed martinis, go all out and have fun! If your wedding falls somewhere in between…do your own thing (kids or no kids) and HAVE FUN!
Spa Day is adults-only in my world, but Joey can look the part!
Back in a week!